Letter to Monty 17

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Dear Monty,

I think you may be getting a bit tired of these letters, my son thinks that I will be arrested for being a cyber stalker....but now I have discovered I can do this I just can't stop. Maybe I have a form of O.C.D ?

3/3/12

Tawny owls screech and hoot outside my window. Here our ordered and decorated dwelling takes on an Italian feel. I think I may be watching too much TV about Sicily....Montalbano...pronto....eh ? Then there is my bedside book of the moment, Italian gardens feature in that too.

I wrote on Anne Warehams blog Veddw Voice, joining in a discussion about rows, as in shouting matches not neat lines into which one plants seeds. I confessed my sin of selfish absorption. Sometimes I think of many things and forget to think about Sue, for which I feel guilt, which sometimes turns to anger....I am not sure of its alchemy. Sue puts up with me, which is nothing short of miraculous. What has this to do with Italy?..well passion and a freedom to express yourself.


Contemplating all this brought this thought to mind - we are at our very worst miserable creatures, we hurt or have the potential to hurt one another, to cause pain and misery. Conversley we can bring joy and laughter and peace....and so it has been for millenia despite our so-called 'civilised' western democracy - tainted as much by greed and corruption as any other form of social organisation. We simply do not change, we are creatures of habit and we forget. A poet once said 'history repeats itself, it has to because nobody listens'.
We do good and evil. ' There is no one righteous. No, not one'. As soon as we start to believe we are right, in slips bigotry and corruption. Such a man am I...... I can do good and evil, this is the contradiction of me.

Today I was unable to meet fellow gardening folk as arranged because Sue had a migrane...I was angry ! This was pure selfishness on my part, like a spoilt child. BUT although I did not get to meet these interesting and creative people, I did get to see the artwork of my niece Sophie who was on her way to Aberystwyth Uni for an interview. What a privilage it was to see her portfolio. So what am I saying ? Sometimes there is a purpose greater than our own need, and out of a negative situation something of great value can come to pass.

Send the men in white coats if you feel a bit disturbed by my armchair philosophy !

Paul.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        
   
                                       

Comments

  1. Anne Wareham11 March 2012 at 19:51

    We missed you though, Paul.

    I have noticed an interesting progression before now which may echo yours: disappointing someone can make you angry with them. I guess it helps somehow.

    I see it coming now! XXXXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paul Steer11 March 2012 at 19:58

      Thank you Anne, It helps to be able to reflect on our reactions. I'm not angry now just feel a bit stupid. Thank you again x

      Delete

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